May 2013
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My love stories are often intertwined with early 90s party rap
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“all i wanna do is zoom a-zoom zoom zoom in ya boom boom” - Me every single day from now on
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“Read More” aka: “Juicy stuff clickclickclick”
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It’s fun to learn things!
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It most certainly rhymes with “horn!”
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“Porn” kinda sorta rhymes with “warm.” Coincidence? Who knows!
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Today’s subject is porn. I’ll be fielding your questions to better inform the public.
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I’m gonna start a food porn blog but instead of food I’ll post naked people.
I guess this blog could technically be classified as a porn blog if you’re just really really really into me. (you probably are)
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[[MORE]]Girls who take forever to respond to texts make Brett uneasy and nervous
woah bummer for everyone not making out with me right now
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There is simply no sexy way to take a selfie while eating a burrito. Sorry guys!
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I will never know how much money I will have when I die and this makes me really uneasy.
[[MORE]]How do I always end up giving my hoodies to girls on dates?
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Nothing makes me lose my appetite faster than someone holding their fork like a monkey.
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We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.
loltaku:
Female presenter sighted at XBox-One reveal
Kotaku contributors curse under their breath and delete the articles they were in the middle of writing.
What’s with all these people winking with their left eye? Wink with your right like a normie
Tumblr comedy status: take literally any image/gif and add “Yahoo! right now”
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[[MORE]]flirting is tough
Sent my info to Earwolf’s talent call. I’m not sure how my skills could help them out of the studio, but I would love to even do some sort of street team kind of thang. I JUST WANT TO BE A PART OF THINGS I LOVE, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
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Finally jumping back into Mad Men
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avoidreality replied to your post: avoidreality replied to your post: Are there even…
But really I don’t have allergies.
Hate you
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avoidreality replied to your post: Are there even people who DON’T have allergies?
hi brett
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Are there even people who DON’T have allergies?
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DEATH BY SNU SNU
DEATH BY SNU SNU
Kinda peeved I haven’t gotten my paycheck yet.
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